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[01 Dec 2004|02:38pm]
Im on Jesu's comp. havn't said wud up in a while so just wanted to let all know what i've been up to lately. I am curently goin to Cuyamamaca College for high school classes and I am going to be sarting college coarses in Jan. for auto. I have a car now it's a Toyota MR2 only $450! Sick stuff huh kids. Well i miss you all so give me a call (619)2865289 i dont have the net right now but may soon. Im seriouse call me all I MISS YOU PEOPLE!
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Im gonna type kinda ghetto because I'm hyper... sorry lol [14 Oct 2004|02:37pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Alright listen up homies! I'm not gonna be able to go to the dinn dinn wit you because I gotsta work. But I wanted to let you all know i still have love for ya. I promise fo sho I'll meet up wit ya all soon and wont really be pressure about the transportation cus I'll be havein my own car. So till then, much love from Lynch! And give me some friggin calls, my phone ain't ringin enough from the homies!
PEACE! WEST SIDE REPRESENT... lol ok I'm done
P.S. I have my Domino's visor on sideways lol

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[13 Oct 2004|04:20pm]
[ mood | determined ]

ok so i have a job now... and kids remember that toyota i talked about a while ago and asked ur opinion on if i should get the ranchero or the toyota? Well my dad was a bum and wouldnt help me out with the ranchero so i couldnt get that... but anyways that toyota was selling for $2,500 then and now the guy is gonna sell it to me for only $900 so I'll work for 3 weeks then I'll have enough cash to buy the car. I'm officially stoked! lol

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Just another poem that I'm slowly manipulating into lyrics to make a bomb song! [05 Oct 2004|05:34pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I walk away from all the hate that’s being paid. I look the other way because you wont listen to what I have to say. It’s not worth my time I’d rather have bliss to become sublime. It’s not worth the extra stress you'll always be a mess. I don’t care im to apathetic and I swear, you’ll always be pathetic. No longer will I try, to cry to seem like I care. No longer will I strain my self to shed one more tear. I will not put on this shameful act of trying to convince you that there is more in this world that you can get into. I am not going to try to change your will to become something. I will not try to stand in harms way that is making you unclean. The repetitive militant actions of trying are so ignorant toward the fact that it’s over you just crying. Your inconsiderate will to die is so incredibly lame. You feel as if no one cares for you, you’re the only one to blame. Many have cared many have tried but life is what you have feared so to yourself you have lied. You cry out for attention by trying suicide. Living is not an action that you are willing to confide. So why should I give up more to convince you that life doesn’t have to be a bore? Why should I have to carry you when it’s something that you just don’t want to do?...

I suppose It’s because I think I love you….

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[26 Sep 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

was it a coincidence?
Was it fate?
I try to stay silenced but because of that I become irate.
Why have I conveniently talked to you during my weakest times.
Why are you there?
I'm so blind.

You, you seem to take it all away.
To myself I betray.
I, I am so disconcerted.
With desolation i may have flirted.
What does it matter?
Who has the right to say?
It's all doltish chatter
that with stress we pay.

To be disquietude would be a punishment unable to ignore.
But without the chances what would we live for?
On one side I want to hang on
but the other side seems to pull strong.
Unable to give in unable to get out
all i want to do is shout.

You, you seem to take it all away.
To myself I betray.
I, I am so disconcerted.
With desolation i may have flirted.
What does it matter?
Who has the right to say.
It's all doltish chatter
that with stress we pay.

...to be continued

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riiight [22 Sep 2004|01:01am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

To many drugs
To many times dealing to tugs
To much cash
To much always in your stash
To many lies
They always seem to hypnotize
feeling the money
feeling the weed
isn’t it lovely
yearning for speed

Why is it
that... so many think that it is cool
Why is it
That... so many think that there not fooled
what is it
to live the life of a tool?
how is it
that you don’t fight when you’re being pulled

Just one more trade
You seem to like how you’re portrayed
Just one more fight
you seem to like your life
must summon the blood shed
now what’s going on in your head?
must make into action
look what you did

Why is it
that... so many think that it is cool
Why is it
That... so many think that there not fooled
what is it
to live the life of a tool?
how is it
that you don’t fight when you’re being pulled

where did you go? (into an other place)
now your unknown (I’m not meant to be chased)
where did you go? (I’m someone new)
now you’re unknown (with that I cant argue)

Why is it
that... so many think that it is cool
Why is it
That... so many think that there not fooled
what is it
to live the life of a tool?
how is it
that you don’t fight when you’re being pulled(x2)

into this you're being pulled

8 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2004|10:59pm]
i just need to hang out with more people.
2 comments|post comment

blahhhhh [07 Sep 2004|11:26pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Ghost flames with a very nice drop shadow job is my top favorite flame technique.oh and airbrush not touch up gun... not too sure why I prefer that I just do. lol But guess what, I don't have to worry about what technique I like because I'm not getting a car soon anyways! I NEED TO FIND A JOB!lol

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[07 Sep 2004|08:10pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Letting go of all that once mattered, you have decided that there is no reason to try. Your left torn and battered, so in this situation you resort to lies. Looking into those eyes filled with all that you despise, I realize you have be classified officially hypnotized. Once so full of vitality, you have become what you hate. Your reality is what you would have never appreciate.

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Random me again. [06 Sep 2004|04:27pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Ok, I havn't been surfing, I havn't played my drums, and I havn't just chilled at the beach with friends in way to long! Come on ppl... lets go!

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[02 Sep 2004|11:33pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I want my drums!

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[01 Sep 2004|08:34pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Don’t you regret not speaking up? Don’t you regret not testing your luck? Lost love is better then none, because at least you had some fun.

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. [30 Aug 2004|10:31pm]
.
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[30 Aug 2004|10:26pm]
So friday I'm hopin to have some fun with friends... I know a couple of them will at least lol. So yeah my mom's truck didnt pass smog and I really hope it does before her extension runs out or that means its no usin that anymore. One thing I am kinda mad about is the external judgment many have force upon others...just because they dress some way, mean nothing! They could dress "punk" and be emo, or could dress emo and truly feel "punk". Whatever they are, is who they are. I've been stereo typed many times and still am, and it's lame as crap!
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[24 Aug 2004|04:57pm]
I passed my permit test.
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Random crap [22 Aug 2004|11:53pm]
[ mood | doesnt have to do w/ the song ]

I'm officially addicted! To what?... you shall know lol. I am addicted to driving, surfing, listening to music, and creating music... but really whats so surprising about that. Man I still have so much homework but to tell you the truth I really don't care... is that so bad? If so ohh well lol. I wish I knew my biggest fear.... yup random I know but that's me lol. so biggest fear hmm... yeah I can't think of it, I'll have to get back to you on that. So I still havn't found a job and so my dad still thinks im not trying. I've applied to...well I don't really know how many places. I hate places that say you have to be 17 or 18 friggin lame. O and forget Green Day there the lamest bands I can think of right now, wait thats not necessarily true theres alot of other bands i really just dislike to the greatest amount possibly but i herd greenday on the TV and it just struck me to type some hatred lol. But anyways yeah right now I'm typin about a lot of worthless crap, but it's my journal so forget you! First thought that just popped into my head: I want to go surfing and I'm hungry hahaha good times Brad. Miss ya kid, summer school wasn't so sucky cus of you and I thank you lol.

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[21 Aug 2004|02:48pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

So my friend smashed got this live journal goin for me...ROCK ON CHICK! lol. man 3 days till my driving permit test..watch I fail lol that would suck. I have so much homework to do now...this sucks major butt lol. I really don't plan on missin anymore school for a long while. Man I need to get myself a friggin job! I just have to think get a job, and you get a car.

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[19 Aug 2004|09:26pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Well I spoke with my dad today and some how we got to the conversation of what tattoos I am getting eventually. I told him about the one that includes my last name in it and he once again told me what he plans on tattooing if i do get a tattoo. He also included this time that he wants to tatto almost the same tattoo that im including my last name in. I hope he reconsiders. I told him about the tattoo I want on my back as well. What is odd about my father is that he minds piercings to an extreme that is just unhealthy lol but with tattoos he loves the idea. I spoke with him about cars again...every time the subject is brought up its not good but this time i took him away from how im getting the car and blah blah blah and just spoke with him about what I want to do with the vehicle when it comes to customizing it. He was suprised that I knew about most of the stuff I was talking about, you know...because "im a girl and all" lol. But yeah it was pretty funny. He said he wanted to go surfing with me some time soon and I was kinda suprised to hear that come out of my dads mouth but he said he would let me pick the spot to surf and drive the truck if it wasnt walking distance. We'll see if he doesn't go back on that idea like he does with everything to do with me. I havn't spent quality time with my dad since....well i can't remember. But I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. I told my dad about the plan I have about driving up the coast and hittin a bunch of surf spots on the way to sacramento and then going to my great grandfathers grave site because the family didn't let me see his burial so I havn't said my goodbyes very properly in my mind. He said "Okay when do you want to do this so kelly and I can be ready for this and I'll see how long we can do this." I told him "No, alone or with a couple of friends in my new car it's going to be next summer. Sorry but I really just feel as if I won't be appreciative of the acsperence as I would if you didn't come along with Kelly." I made kinda an offbeat comment as well I said "You guys would want to stop off at bars to often too." It was kinda wrong for me to say but i think it needed to be said.

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[15 Aug 2004|08:52pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Every day more passing moments
Every day fasting to own it
everyday walking away
everyday being to afraid
watching it all go away
watching it all disintegrate
having nothing that you can say
so instead you choose to stray
dont you see
the answer is not to flee
dont you know
in that more problems are sown
dont you see
that youre creating a calamity
dont you know
its just fear that's bein shown
is that how you want to be remembered
known as a coward who surrendered
not making anything for yourself
your life story collecting dust on a shelf
never satisfied
so youde rather just hide
never fulfilled inside
never enough pride
dont you see
the answer is not to flee
dont you know
in that more problems are sown
dont you see
that youre creating a calamity
dont you know
its just fear bein shown
youre nothing special
you think its to much of a hassle
you want everything
but you think its gonna leave a ding
you think its not worth it
when really your just afrade to commit
dont you see
the answer is not to flee
dont you know
in that more problems are sown
dont you see
that youre creating a calamity
dont you know
its just fear bein shown
dont you see
the answer is not to flee
dont you know
in that more problems are sown
dont you see
that youre creating a calamity
dont you know
its just fear bein shown
and youll never be known

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In eng. [12 Aug 2004|07:20pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Tomorrow I am going to the DMV to take my permit test. I hope I pass it. My father and I spoke today and he decided for my driving test for my license he is going to rent an automatic a few days before I have to take the test. I will learn how to drive that car smoothly and use that car for the test. The reason being for the test I think it would be better to drive an automatic so I don’t have to be stressed about shifting gears as well as knowing that I’m taking a test. This Saturday Kendra wants me to go with her to meet her real dad for the first time. I have agreed to go.

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